Thursday, February 20, 2014

N Is For New

I nested once, okay twice. Both times I was pregnant. Apparently it what expectant mothers do, and I was not different than most moms-in-waiting.
I have no way to show it to you so I sat thinking about what I could discuss that begins with N.
How about new?
I saw this in my book while reading and it really struck a chord in me. We all know beginnings to be new, but what about endings?! Wouldn't that be new too? I know for me it is true. Especially in death. That is one ending that cannot start anew, but within each person who experiences a death, a new beginning without them develops.
Sorry to dwell in death, but I have two people close to me fighting different cancers and both at Stage 4. First my auntie Beryl was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. It has spread to her lymph nodes. She is taking chemotherapy and other treatments to try and reduce the tumor so she can have a double mastectomy. Since September it has gotten smaller, just not enough so the fight continues.
Then my Opa, (grandfather), was diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer. It has spread to his liver, kidneys and bones. He was in much pain, and they tried many treatments to get him to stop producing testosterone. It is what feeds prostate cancer. All to no avail, I am afraid. They had to remove his testicles. Bright note is that he is at home and recovering well. The cancer is still there but slowing down. It will never go away and will one day claim his life, but now we have been given more time.
Here is where the new comes in.
These two people have been in my life always. I will have to adjust to a new beginning when they go, and with the knowledge we have about their cancers, we are slowly trying to make an adjustment now. We don't know how much time is left together, there is just no way of knowing. So we must make the most of what time we have left. Then the new beginning without them won't be filled with as much regret.
We all experience loss and death, but it is the new beginning of life without that person that makes us stronger. Our memories keep close while we learn to adjust. But we all do, somehow.
I've been filled with so much regret in previous deaths, at least this time I am given an opportunity to have a lengthy goodbye.

What is one way that you deal with loss? For me, I write poems in honor of each person I lose.

Alphabe Thursdays



11 comments:

  1. Lots of healing hugs to you ~ and your auntie and Opa ~ not easy losing our loved ones yet it is a natural part of life ~ thanks for visiting and commenting ~ will be thinking of you and your family ~ xxx

    artmusedog and carol
    www.acreativeharbor.com

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  2. A sad post but a subject so close to so many of us unfortunately.

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  3. loss is so hard! my way to deal with it is to hide for a while and lick my wounds. it's not for everyone, but it works for me...

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  4. Sadly this us something we always encounter, and it seems for me any way each loss is it's iwn and I deal differently with each.

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  5. Poetry - that's a nice way to honor people's death. Death is something I'm scared of, to loose a close family member and the thought of how things will be without them. Enjoy your relatives while you can. And be brave for them. {:-Deb

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  6. I've lost loved ones to cancer too - it is so hard. I tend to rage over loss - then hide out for a while. Blessings to you!

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  7. I am so sorry to read about your Aunt and Opa. We've lost family members to cancer and through accidents with no chance to say goodbye. We try not to be too sad, as we know they would not want us to be miserable, or not cope with their deaths but it's hard.
    Wren x

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  8. Thanks for sharing your sorrows. It takes courage to face loss and faith to carry on. You have my thoughts and prayers...

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  9. Hello. My condolences to you and your family.

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  10. Life is a series of never ending change; in other words, "new" beginnings is constant in life. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Cancer has plagued my family as well so I know all too well what it's like. Our end on earth is when and where we begin with God ... that's a pretty good "new" beginning.

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  11. Sending my prayers that the treatment eases their suffering

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All opinions welcome. Be yourself, and have a blessed day!

Stella & Dot

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